


Michael in the Angst Room

by Drowninginfandomgarbage



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, M/M, More angst, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, because he does, but i dont know why i keep hurting him, i love my dead gay son, michael deserves more, michael is an angsty boi, oh yeah and its a songfic, one sided boyf riends if you squint, so be prepared, this is all angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 03:36:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12855909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drowninginfandomgarbage/pseuds/Drowninginfandomgarbage
Summary: Michael slammed the door behind him, tears streaming down his face. His best friend, his only friend for as long as he could remember, had called him a loser.I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fallHe knew that Jeremy had been acting weird lately, ever since he got his SQUIP. It seemed like he wasn’t even able to see him anymore.I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody'd even notice at allThen, it happened. He had gone to the Halloween party to confront Jeremy about the way he was acting. But, when he tried to stop him-I'm a creeper in a bathroom 'cause my buddy kinda left me alone"Get out of my way, loser."





	Michael in the Angst Room

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic I am publishing! So thanks to y'all for reading it...
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Death, Suicide, Angsty Song Lyrics
> 
> I think I got everything... if there is something else please comment below.

Michael slammed the door behind him, tears streaming down his face. His best friend, his only friend for as long as he could remember, had called him a loser.

 

_ I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall _ _  
_

 

He knew that Jeremy had been acting weird lately, ever since he got his SQUIP. It seemed like he wasn’t even able to see him anymore.

 

_ I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody'd even notice at all _

 

Then, it happened. He had gone to the Halloween party to confront Jeremy about the way he was acting. But, when he tried to stop him- 

 

_ I'm a creeper in a bathroom 'cause my buddy kinda left me alone _

 

**Get out of my way, loser.**

 

_ But I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly, or pretend to check a text on my phone _ _  
_

 

It echoed in the darkest corners of his mind. Jeremy had brushed him off, just like that.

 

_ Everything felt fine when I was half of a pair _

 

But didn’t he know that he cared about him?

 

_ Now through no fault of mine, there's no other half there _

 

That he loved him?

 

_ Now I'm just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom, at a party _

 

No. He couldn’t handle it anymore.

 

_ Forget how long it's been _ _  
_

 

They hadn’t had a fight since second grade, over a purple crayon.

 

_ I'm just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party _

 

He hears somebody give a cautious knock on the door.

 

_ No you can't come in! _

 

Michael feels the hot tears streaming down his face.

 

_ I'm waiting it out 'til it's time to leave _

 

He climbs into the bathtub, grabbing a roll of toilet paper to wipe away his tears.

 

_ And picking at grout as I softly grieve _ _  
_

 

How could Jeremy do this to him?

 

_ I'm just Michael who you don't know, Michael flyin' solo, Michael in the bathroom by himself _

 

He felt the anger simmering in him.

 

_ Oh, by himself _

 

He dug his fingernails into the sides of the tub.

 

_ I am hiding, but he's out there, just ignoring all our history _

 

**_I bet he’s out there, having the best time of his life._ **

 

_ Memories get erased, and I'll get replaced, with a newer, cooler version of me _

 

**_I bet that he doesn’t even remember what he said to me._ ** _  
_

****

_ And I hear a drunk girl sing along to Whitney through the door - I wanna dance with somebody! _

 

Rage fueling him, Michael grabs onto the closest object and pulls as hard as he could.

 

_ And my feelings sink, 'cause it makes me think: now there's no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore! _

 

The shower curtain falls with a clang to the floor.

 

_ Now it's just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party _

 

And then the dots connect.

 

_ I half regret the beers _

 

**_If Jeremy doesn’t want me, nobody does._ **

__

_ Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party _ _  
_

 

He sees trimming scissors on the bathroom counter.

 

_ As I choke back the tears _

 

**_Perfect._ **

 

_ I’ll take as long as I need ‘til my face is dry _

 

Quickly, he grabs the scissors and cuts off a length of the fabric.

 

_ Or I’ll just blame it on weed or something in my eye _

 

He brings a stepstool over to a hook on the ceiling.

 

_ I’m just Michael who you don’t know _

 

Ties one end of the rope onto the hook.

 

_ Michael flying solo _

 

Ties the other into a noose.

 

_ Michael in the bathroom by himself _

 

**_A note._ **

 

_ Knock, knock, knock, knock _

 

He hears an agitated partier knock on the door.

 

_ They're gonna start to shout soon _

 

He scrambles to grab some lipstick, he opens it.

 

_ Knock, knock, knock, knock _

 

The knocking grows louder. Somebody yells Michael’s name, but he can’t hear it.

 

_ Oh hell yeah, I'll be out soon _

 

He is too concentrated scribbling his note on the mirror with the blood-red lipstick.

 

_ Knock, knock, knock, knock _

 

The person yelling sounds kind of like Jeremy.

 

_ It sucks you left me here alone- _

 

But Michael doesn’t care.

 

_ Knock, knock, knock, knock _

 

**_Michael! Michael, open the door!_ **

__  
_  
_ __ Here in this teenage battle zone-

 

Michael moves the step stool underneath the makeshift rope.

 

_ Clang, clang, clang, clang _

 

**_Do I really want to do this?_ **

 

_ I feel the pressure blowing up- _

 

He looks back at the mirror, hastily scribbled words scrawled across.

 

_ Bang, bang, bang, bang _

 

**_My mind's made up._ ** _  
_

 

_ My big mistake was showing up- _

 

Stepping up now.

 

_ Splash, splash, splash, splash _

 

Puts his head through the noose.

 

_ I throw some water in my face _

 

**_I’m sorry._ **

 

_ And I am in a better place _

 

The stool is kicked down.

 

_ I go to open up the door _

 

GAME OVER.

 

_ But I can't hear knocking anymore. _

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been in my head for SO LONG, and I’m glad I finally had time to finish it. Now you can go back to doing  
> whatever you do with your lives and have just a couple more depressing things to think about.
> 
> Please, tell me what you think! Should I do more? Is there anything I messed up?
> 
> And please, if you are thinking of hurting yourself, just remember there are people out there who care about you.
> 
> Love y'all!


End file.
